Spiritual Baby Steps

"Doing" spirituality in the real world

Archive for the tag “Weight loss”

Who Am I?

Sometimes I feel like I have multiple people living in my body. One morning I wake up happy… smile on my face… caring and empathic… loving the world — and then there are the other days. One minute I’m happy and content… and the next I’m moody and irritable. Some days I eat healthy, drink lots of water, exercise, go to bed early… but often I don’t.

What gives? Why such variation and self-sabotage? I know that staying up until 2am watching TV is going to make me feel bad the next day… and yet – I continue to do it. Not every night… but consistently. And what about all the other things I do that I know aren’t good for me… aren’t healthy… won’t make me feel better in the long run… Why?

How many people out there consistently make good choices that support their overall health and well-being? Surely there must be a few? I feel like there might be some kind of link to spirituality… connecting your daily choices with your inner guidance. I’m just not sure where that inner guru goes sometimes. And it makes me wonder… do I get disconnected from the inner guidance and end up making bad choices… or do the bad choices disconnect me from the inner guidance?

What does it take to get clear and consistently make good choices? I’d be the first to tell you that I want to get clear. I like to set intentions, create vision boards and write out goals. But here’s the thing… I don’t feel clear. I feel a constant struggle to figure out what I want.  As I consider why I’m not getting clear… I have to ask myself the question, “what’s good about not being clear?” If you’re doing something… or not doing something… there’s always a reason. If there wasn’t some benefit (unconscious, made-up, or otherwise illogical as it may be), you wouldn’t do it.

Here’s what I realized. If I’m clear, then there’s no question what I want (I know… seems obvious… but stay with me here). If I know what I want, then I should say what I want. But what if I don’t want to say what I want? What if I can’t get what I want? What if it causes conflict if I say what I want? What if other people think I’m selfish for saying what I want? I really, really, really don’t like conflict. Now it starts to make more sense… I start to realize that there are a lot of reasons why getting clear isn’t happening so easily.

So maybe there are multiple personalities living within me. Maybe part of spiritual growth has to do with aligning the various parts of your soul? Uncovering the various hidden beliefs that drive our less-than-ideal choices and bringing them to light. I’d like to say that simply making these connections and having these realizations has allowed me to be able to say exactly what I want at all times. That’s what I’d like to say. Instead, what I can say is that I think it’s a start.

And for that I am grateful.  ~Rashel

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The Good, the Bad… and the rest of the week

So… it was an interesting week – week one on the Game On! diet. I’ll admit up front that I’ve never thought of myself as someone who could stick to a diet. I don’t do well with lots of restrictive rules… does anyone? If you tell me I can’t do something… well… is that a challenge?

The week actually started off pretty well… I was following all the guidelines… 5 smeals, 3 liters of water, 30 minutes of exercise and 7 hours of sleep. Smeals, by the way, are the name I’ve given to the food that is eaten every few hours 5x/day on this plan. It’s not a usual snack – I tend to think of snacks as one food – like an apple… or Doritos! It’s also not the typical meal… which is usually much bigger and much more processed than anything that qualifies in this plan. A small amount of complex carb, lean protein and healthy fat = a smeal. Anyway, I had started off pretty well. Then Friday rolled around. You get one day off with this diet – and Friday was my day. I found myself wanting to go out and splurge. I maintained pretty well, but I definitely noticed the defiant part of me that wanted to just go off the deep end.

I had girlfriends over on Friday night and ended up having more wine than is allowed… even on your day off. SO… I had to take some negative points for that. But over the weekend I put in some extra long exercise sessions and felt pretty good about the whole thing.

Then… duh… duh… duh… I got on the scale yesterday morning. The deal is that you can weigh yourself once per day… but if you weigh yourself more than that, you have to take penalty points. The idea being, that if you become obsessed with the scale, well, that’s not good. The reality for me is that I don’t weigh myself regularly, and I hadn’t weighed myself during the week. Then, on Monday morning when I woke up, I forgot to weigh myself first thing. I had my smeal and then remembered to weigh. It was still pretty much morning and I really didn’t think my one piece of toast with cottage cheese and banana was going to make much of a difference. I got on the scale and I hadn’t lost a pound.

Now… my rationale mind was going on about the fact that it wasn’t first thing in the morning, but there was another side of me… and a not-so-very-nice-side, I might add… that was very upset. I was at once frustrated, humiliated and angry. WOW. I’m embarrassed to say that it effected my whole day. I had big plans for Monday, including writing this blog!!, and at the end of the day, I’m sad to say, most of it didn’t happen. I cleaned… I know I’m not the only one who finds solace in sponges and rags… and cleaning the crap out of something when you need to release some energy!

So, here’s what my conscious mind is finding fascinating. As much as I can intellectually talk about what’s going on and why I might be having certain reactions, I’m still having those reactions! Where does logical thinking coincide with action? Why am I so concerned about following the rules of this game, when it’s really my health that should be the greatest motivator of all, right?  Regardless of whether or not I lost weight, I made a ton of really healthy decisions last week, and I should be really proud of those actions. But… I wasn’t. Well… I was… but I really cared about the weight. And the extra points I lost because I didn’t lose 1% of my weight that week.

This whole scenario got me thinking… I work in healthcare and I generally tell people not to go on diets. (I know… ironic!) The thing is, when we just tell people to eat healthy carbs, lean protein and good fats… well, it’s boring! Exercise 30 minutes most days of the week… yeah – it’s rare to find a person who hasn’t heard that health advice before… but few who are actually doing it. Maybe we need to start looking at the factors that make this game intriguing to people… and that make people engage in the challenge. When we look at healthcare, maybe it’s a little bit about what to do… but even more importantly how we engage people in making those choices every day.

By the way… I decided to weigh myself this morning very first thing… and I was down 3 pounds!! Was it the smeal? Or maybe it just took time to kick in? Either way, I guess what matters is the everyday choices and the work … and if you’re patient… the results will follow.

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