Spiritual Baby Steps

"Doing" spirituality in the real world

Archive for the tag “time”

How Much is Too Much?

I thought about quitting the blog this week. I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately and to top it off, I got a cold that started last Thursday and hasn’t quite subsided yet. It’s made me even more exhausted than usual. Of course, my body’s cry for rest did not slow me down… I continued to work, teach a class at my kids’ school, attend a training, facilitate a group event, attend my son’s hockey game, visit my friend and, just for fun, allow my kids to both have play dates at our house… at the same time! And by the way, the dishes and laundry weren’t doing themselves.

You can bet I was feeling appreciative yesterday when my husband offered to do the grocery shopping! We made dinner and then I went to bed… it was 8pm. As I drove to work today I thought about all of my commitments. I realized that much of the “extra” activity in my life is of my own choosing. I love to write.  I enjoy blogging. I get a lot of satisfaction from teaching others and connecting with people.  Part of me can’t imagine not doing all of the things that I do… and another part of me is just plain exhausted and wants to put on the brakes. How do you know how much is too much? And once you’ve realized that maybe you’ve tipped the scales just a bit much… how do you know where to nip and tuck?

Do I give up the art class? I’m really enjoying it, but the reality is that I’m not an inspiring artist and it does mean one night a week I miss out on the family scene. Do I stop blogging? I would definitely miss the outlet, but more than that, I would miss the people I run into who comment on how much they enjoy my posts. In fact, the nudge to continue writing tonight came in the form of a text message. I was at work today and a friend of mine sent a text message asking the name of my blog… she had read it once and really wanted to read more. When it comes to personal fulfillment, it really doesn’t get much better than that! Should I put my endeavors to write a book on hold? It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and I’ve actually started the process… I have actual drafts… it seems a shame to stop now!

I could go on… and on.. but you get where I’m going with this, right? I want to do it all… Is that wrong? I didn’t think so… until I started reading a book called Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Now I’m wondering if there isn’t more to all this business than meets the eye. According to Brene, the obsession with constantly being busy shields us from vulnerability. It’s a way of keeping yourself from feeling… from slowing down… from deciding what’s important enough to devote your time to. Hmmmm…. maybe. I certainly don’t do too well at resting (if you’ve forgotten, refer to intro paragraph!). What would it mean to say No… to cut back on commitments… to allow some space in my world? The fact that I can’t quite imagine it makes me wonder if there isn’t something to this!

How do you find balance? Where do you land on the business spectrum? Please… share!  Here’s to another week!!  ~Rashel

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Ebb and Flow…

“I easily adapt to the ebb and flow of my life.” ~Louise L Hay – Power Thoughts

This is a power thought I need to work on! I’m realizing I’m not so good at honoring the ebb and flow of my energy. My habit is to go, go, go until my mind and/or body collapses… and then… to rest only as long as absolutely necessary until I can jump back into the game. What I’m realizing lately is that this need for constant motion is entirely my own doing. I’m not a high-profile public figure – I don’t have hoards of people clamoring for my attention every day – no entourage of people waiting for me to give them the ok on things.  Nope… just a normal, busy working Mom who may be her own worst enemy when it comes to chaos!

If I take a long hard look at where I put my energy… much of it tends to go toward taking care of others rather than myself. I do get satisfaction from doing for others… but sometimes at my own expense. There is a part of me that knows the extent to which I do for others is related to my people pleaser self. I want others to like me… to see me as nice. Taking time for myself doesn’t make me look good to others… it makes me look selfish. In reality, I’m not sure that’s true… but it must be an underlying belief that I hold, cause I sure do act as if it’s truth! Often when I do take time for myself, I end up feeling guilty or trying to make up for it by working harder when I’m done. Why, why, why?

Now, I’m not trying to pass myself off as a martyr here. It’s not like I’m doing slave labor 24/7! First of all, no one is making me work so hard at ignoring my own needs. That’s 100% me. Secondly, I have amazing people in my life who love and support me. Many of the things that I do for “others” in the name of helping, could be better served by having them done themselves. For example, my kids could be doing a lot of the stuff that I “take on” in their name. In fact, they’d be better off for it. The problem is, this requires me to be consistent about making them do it. Nagging them to do chores makes me feel like the “bad guy.” While doing it for them makes me feel like a great Mom. In reality, I’m fishing for them instead of teaching them how to fish. Why, why, why?

There are always a million things on the to-do list. And somehow, no matter how many things I get through in a day, the list is always just as full tomorrow. I really want to learn to honor the ebb and flow of my energy. And if my body tells me it needs a “time out,” I want to just take one – and not feel guilty about it. Just honor the fact that sometimes I run at 150%… and other times I need to crank it down to 50% and be ok with that.

What about you? Are you regularly stopping to fill up your tank… or do you run on fumes most of the time? What happens when you hit the lulls of energy and your body needs a break? Do you allow it… or push through it?  Curious how others cope through the demands of the day!

Love and laughter to you!  ~Rashel

 

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