I struggle with the balance between making things happen vs. allowing them in. Where is that line and how do I walk it without getting tripped up, bruised and battered from having missed a step? You know that saying, “How do you make God laugh? Tell her your plans!” Well how much planning can occur before the laughing begins?
Perhaps it’s a balance between taking small steps in the direction of your dreams… while releasing expectations. Yup… that sounds good! Seriously though, I’m finding that there is some level of fear that has to be broken down before you can even recognize what that step, regardless of how small, is going to be.
I’d like to tell you that I have it all figured out. But alas… I am struggling along with the rest of my friends… hiding from the fear and hoping for a transformation miracle. I ask myself, “why is it so hard to become the amazing being that I am meant to be?” and then I think of the wise teachings that remind me, “you are already there!”
I was just listening to a short clip from Wayne Dyer, an amazing teacher who we recently lost, but whose wise words live on in books, videos and his movie! In the clip, he was reminding people that for the first 9 months of our lives, God/the Universe is fully in control. We don’t question whether our limbs are developing fast enough or freak out because our fingers look like toothpicks. We allow. Then we’re born… and we say, “OK, we’ll take it from here!” Now, obviously babies are dependent on others for a while… but there is some humor there… that from the time we’re born, we are constantly trying to shape and mold ourselves (or others are trying to shape and mold us) into something other than what we are.
What does that even mean… to just “be”? As someone who has been a self-professed seeker since my teenage years… that’s a hard concept for me to even wrap my brain around. Be… what? What do you need to do and believe in order to be? Is there a program for that? If we turn off the drive to be more… better… smarter… cooler… where does that leave us? I know for myself there is an overwhelming fear that allowing myself to just “be” will translate in to me on the couch with a bottle of wine.
And then… I think of that analogy of the acorn. The acorn’s destiny is set from day one. The acorn will not become an elm tree. The acorn will not become a fig tree. The acorn will never produce apples. The acorn will become an oak. And yet… the acorn will need a good environment in order to grow and blossom. The acorn will need soil, and sunlight and water. There are essentials… and then there is the ultimate destiny of the acorn… from day one.
So I guess the question that I continue to explore is this… “how do I surround myself with nutrients… my human version of sunlight, soil and water… in order to be my most amazing acorn self?!! and how do you?
Wishing you a day of nutrients! ~Rashel