Spiritual Baby Steps

"Doing" spirituality in the real world

Self Sabatoge… Alive & Well

What keeps us from doing the things that we know are good for us? What makes us stay up late before a big presentation? Wait until the very last-minute to write the important speech that will be delivered in front of our entire department. “Forget” about that very important meeting that your boss has asked you to attend.  Seriously… what gives?

I didn’t blog last week… and this week is pretty much over and I’m just now sitting down at the computer. Now… I know that blogging is not a make-it-or-break-it thing. I do not hold some delusional fantasy that my blog posts keep the world going! However, I have made a commitment to myself to blog every week, and I do enjoy the process of writing very much… so why do I do things that stand in the way of making that happen? What stands in the way of a perfectly good intention?

From everything I’ve read, it’s fear. That pesky feeling that gets in the way of greatness. There’s a reason why that question, “what would you do if you were not afraid of failing” often results in answers that are far different from our current state. We let fear keep us from our greatest selves. We allow the fear of failing to keep us from even starting.

It’s quite frightening the internal chatter that has gone on in my head over the last week and a half…mean things about not being good enough… not having anything worth sharing… not being smart enough, current enough or wise enough to have anything to bother writing about. I know… right??? Mean!! I would never say such things to friends, family, or colleagues. Heck, even a stranger! What gives?

I’m not sure why we do it… but I’m pretty sure most of us do. Self-Sabotage is a common occurrence. In fact, according to Carolyn Myss, author and medical intuitive, the saboteur is one of the 4 major archetypes that every person is born with and deals with during their lifetime. (If you don’t know about archetypes, I highly recommend Carolyn’s book, Sacred Contracts, to learn more).

I don’t know if this will work for everyone, but one thing that I am finding helpful is to just start. I told myself today that I was going to start my blog. Regardless of whether I finished or not, I would bring up the site and get started. If I wrote for 5 minutes and decided to stop, that would be fine. But I would not be allowed to not open the computer, bring up the site and just start.

And what do you know… once I started, it just kept flowing. I will probably always have that small voice in the back of my head the questions whether what I have to say is good enough, pertinent enough, etc., etc., etc. The bottom line is, I must decide to either let it stop me… or to do it anyway. I enjoy writing so much… I am hopeful that I will keep on writing despite the constant doubt and fear. In fact, I hope that all of you will keep on keeping on… despite the fear… despite the doubt… despite the saboteur that constantly rears its ugly head! I’m pretty sure that’s the only way anything creative ever gets done… ever… no really… ever!

Here’s hoping I keep the saboteur in check and “see” you next week!  Love and laughter!  ~Rashel

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6 thoughts on “Self Sabatoge… Alive & Well

  1. maddie02 on said:

    Spot on Rashel. I do think at times we can be our own worst enemies. Negative self talk is common . It makes me wonder if it is “innate” or acquired after birth. Also, if someone doesn’t have any negative self talk, does that mean they are a narcissist or an egomaniac? 💗💗 Mama

    • Interesting question. I don’t think it does. In reality, I don’t think narcissists and ego maniacs are actually nice to themselves or not beating themselves up. I personally believe that most of the grandeur and self importance is really just a front to prevent the deep hurt from showing through… to others… and to themselves. So, go ahead and get rid of the negative self-talk, Mama!!

  2. A very important topic, thanks for posting. Getting to the bottom of the fear and negative self-talk is (ahem) critical. I’m finding the Morning Pages I’m doing in my Artists Way class are so helpful for that. It’s a journey, a marathon, not a sprint. Being gentle and unconditionally friendly towards myself seems a good way to approach this.

  3. As you know I’m trying to make headway with a daily mindfulness practice. The last few days opened up a gap that I hope to get back with. Apparently, we need to adopt 7 qualities to help us on our mindfulness journey; non-judging, patience, beginning mind, trust, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go.

    Seems to me that we need every one of those 7 qualities to tackle that inherent self saboteur.

    I enjoy your blogs so much. Do deal with that self saboteur :-)

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